Sometimes — lots of times — I miss my sister. I realize I feel a little lost — about what I should be doing with my life in this very moment with the loss of a loved one complimented by an immense dedication to the very little smiling gifts that come in the form of an incredibly intelligent soon-to-be 7-year-old and a captivatingly cute 4 year-old. It’s not the fact I lost her that is the hardest, it is oddly enough trying to explain to people what is going on without mentioning what has actually happened. A lot of judgement comes with things like this whether people realize it or not, and I can feel it. Because I am the most judgmental person and I can spot it in a quick second. I, even, maybe at the top of this list of judges. Perhaps even the hardest one to beat.
I constantly juggle having such a tragedy persisting in my mind with trying to find the best ways to emulate my own personal happiness to the world. How do I convince people that I refuse to be touched by such a tragedy? More importantly, how do I convince myself? How do I stay strong for the people I love and even people I don’t know nor care about? How do I swallow fear? How do I do what makes me happy? Is there anything that really makes me happy? Is there anyone? These become more and more confusing with events like this. And here I stand. Strong and stubborn. Trying to figure the next steps in having it all while not having it all at the same time.
After all of this, I wonder who is the survivor. Me or my sister?
Snapped this backstage at Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti today #NYFW (see review on ErinJeen.com) Fashion shows are fun. Pound it.
Buter + Claypool Vintage Pop-up Boutique TODAY in D.C. at Cork Market.
Vintage clothes & wine? I’d say it’s a pretty good Saturday (despite the gross weather).
We’re watching you…
Coming home to my mother’s closet always pulls me out of my college style shlump. Combat boots and boatneck sweatshirt tees can only take me so far…
Sick laptop case.
How do I order one of these without sounding boujie?
(Source: y0lomatata, via ninagarcia)
(via Double Take ‘Toons: Happy Thanksgiving! : NPR)